The Zulack Experience

Missing People

About that.

I mean, we all walk by, bump into, look at a ton of strangers. But among them, there is The One that stands out. The One that pops out, you never forget. You dream of becoming friends, you think of talking to (   ), but in reality, catching a glimpse of (   ) is enough.

Now then, what happens if that’s not enough?

What happens if you want to talk? What happens if you want to be friends? What happens if you want to be more than friends?

Let’s get this straight though. This isn’t love or any kind of pure affection. It’s more of an obsession. Obsession towards a stranger. A fantasy. A very-private fantasy. 

Back to the point, if you do want to develop a very one sided relationship, by all means go for it. But. But, you have to find that stranger first. 

How? Wait at the same place where you met (   )? Ask people if they have seen This stranger? No. There is no how. You just sit. You just sit and let your twisted fantasy do the work. 

Let (   ) be yours. 

Find those missing people.

Coping with normality

So, I came to terms with reality.

I am NOTHING but normal.

It’s been fun dreaming and denying. 

I’ll see you on the other side.

I’ll be dreaming soon, very soon.

Welcome to October

Contemplation \

You are (not) alone.

Kinda fits the theme of that day, anyways.

In for the Kill

In the streets wandering around.

The lights are bright with all these eyes.

Welcome to March

Where to?

Day 1.

Technically a half day. Actually shorter than a half day.

The flight was rather horrible. It was very early in the morning, had a layover which was only 10 minutes apart, sat next to a really fat woman before the lay over, sat next to a really sick woman after the lay over, plane was extremely hot.

Finally got to Japan. Got off the plan at 4:30pm and got on the train at 5:25pm. Got to the hotel, which is located in Asakusa, at 7:15pm. Took a quick shower since I was up for so long and deteriorating.

Remembered that most shops and points of interests closed around 8-9pm. Decided to still walk around to get to know the neighborhood. There were a lot of Europeans and bicycles. While walking around I passed by many business men(salary-men). Then realized that it was Monday and that it was natural for salary men to be walking around after work. Walking around, saw beer and cigarette vending machines.

Walking back to the hotel, stopped by at the gaming arcade and convenience store. The gaming arcade had many new and interesting games but what really surprised me was the fact that I forgot only in America it is banned to smoke in doors. Cigarette smokes filled the arcade but it didn’t bother me, rather i felt welcomed. In the convenience store, stopped by the magazine rack to check out some ‘very interesting’ magazines. The store also sold beer and liquor.

Back at the hotel. Turned on the television. It had a general announcement that I had to pay to watch movies or adult programs. Well I have internet so I’ll be passing on that. Currently watching Lost with Japanese dubs. Now, changed the channel to a comedy program, but it’s not that funny since I can’t understand much what’s going on.

Japan isn’t as cold as I anticipated, which is good.

Second day, planning to go to Odaiba and Comiket.

Rip

Everything is starting to fall apart again. Plans, dreams, rules… They are all falling apart now.

This isn’t new.

This, I have felt before.

The world collapsing, Blind…

Self loathing, as it is not you who caused this, but I. I stare at myself, hating, slashing. But, I can’t get you out of my head. I know it’s not your fault. But, I can’t get you out of my head.

Retribution…But for whom? Looking into my eyes, I realize that it’s not my fault anymore. It’s yours. It’s their.

The anger. The hate. Not for me but you.

Not anymore.

Current

It’s been exactly five days since I went to sleep, without the help of alcohol.

The first two days were pretty bad. Exploring my bed, I wasn’t able to lay calm. The room was dark as Sin itself, but I was able to see through it. My desk, my camera, my books. At night they come alive. The darkness breathes into them and without my power, I was prey and predator to the chaos.

Singing lullabies to sleepless nights, finally, I am now able to embrace the darkness. Lying in bed, I am staring at the ceiling, but with a blink, I was staring at the ceiling. I can hear and see things, but they are not the ceiling or the cars outside.

I wake up to the birds chirping and sun shining. I roll over to embrace the coldness of the bed. But to my surprise, I am greeted by Jim. Sitting right next to me motionless, it stares right into my eyes.

‘Good morning’…I whisper.

And we kiss.